Holy Un-pigmented Hair! It can’t be. I mean you are vegan, you eat gluten free! You eat Raw and do Bikram three times a day.

THEN it must be genes… yes. It must be your father’s mother on your sister’s side — she was a gray-old bat! OR worse stress! The stress of waiting a WHOLE week for next week’s episode of House of Cards. Hah! Or perhaps it’s all the stress of watching the virgin bachelor. A SAD DAY FOR ALL.

Lord help you, you must (like our primate looking for nits) dig and pluck, dig and pluck-pluck-pluck. Not one gray left. YES, feel the power. You ARE the master of your domain.

But…. as you put down your tweezers’, and the frenzied haze of plucking grays leaves you, you wonder “What will you do when there are so many gray hairs, that to pluck them all would mean you face certain baldness?” Gasp.

And do you even mention the unmentionable here… C O L O R? I mean isn’t that like falling down the rabbit hole of ” Shallow-ness” Just how shallow are you?

But wait — there is a silver lining here. If you aren’t shallow… perhaps you too could join the many and get your own reality TV show. It could be called “The Real Bald Grey People of Chicago.” Yes.

Perplexed you sit on the edge of the tub. Your plucked head is spinning, There is no easy way out.

Perhaps you need a consultation: edda@eddacosiconi.com